Daisies
by homeric
Summary: Sometimes fighting the enemy is not nearly as hard as fighting yourself.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: nothing you recognise belongs to me**.

**Post OOTP and and continues through THBP. Three momements that Remus and Tonks shared - re-written and changed, but if you recognise the title then don't bother reading it again: the basic storyline is the same.**

**_Dainty Things._**

There were too many ghosts here. Across the lake the impenetrable darkness of the Forbidden Forest swayed and whispered in the wind and Remus could not help but remember how things had once been. The agony of changing, the crash and thunder of the hooves and paws that ran beside him, the bright light of the moon high above. Wild, reckless, nights where the savagery within him was tempered by friendship and acceptance, when even waking at dawn bloodied and exhausted had seemed more like an adventure than a curse. Now James was gone, Sirius was gone, and by Merlin he swore that Peter Pettigrew would join them if they ever had the misfortune to meet again. Exhaling sharply, Remus Lupin felt the unfamiliar burn of tears threatening to spill and rubbed them away roughly. Self pity was not an a luxury he could afford: fighting the beast inside himself once a month was hard enough, collapsing into a snivelling wreck was not going to help anyone.

Tonks watched the dishevelled figure beside the lake for a long time before mustering the courage to approach him. Pacing around the small eccentrically furnished room in the west tower that had been allocated her, she had noticed Lupin's slim frame disappearing into the woodland and wander down towards the lake. She could understand Remus's reasons for wanting to be alone; Merlin knows she had manufactured enough excuses in the past weeks in order to avoid the well meaning concern of her family, the sympathetic looks and whispers cast her way at work. Did Remus have friends outside the order concerned with his welfare? Was there a mother and father somewhere that despaired of his shabby appearance, his too thin frame? He had never mentioned his parents in their few conversations, but then they had never really spoken of much beyond the Order at all.

He and Sirius had been close, that much she knew. In the occasional meetings she had been summoned to at Grimmauld place they had made a disconcerting distraction to the matters at hand - not that she ever needed to find an excuse to let her attention wander, as Mad Eye constantly reminded her. Sirius had been volatile and outspoken; trapped in his ancestral home he had seemed unable to keep still, pacing around the rooms in a manner that reminded her of the one miserable time she had been persuaded to visit a muggle zoo. Azkaban had been purgatory for him, but sometimes she wondered if his parents' house had perhaps been worse.

In contrast Remus Lupin's presence had always been calming - both to Sirius and the rest of the Order. At first she had suppressed giggles at the way Molly Weasley would twitch in his presence; obviously longing for a chance to mend his ragged robes or tidy his shaggy brown hair. Over time she had grown to deeply respect him. There was a quiet intelligence in his eyes, a slump in his shoulders that spoke of hardship and weariness that made him easy to talk to. As the youngest of the order Tonks sometimes felt a little overwhelmed by those she fought beside; an Auror she may have been, but there were those who dismissed her as a mere girl by her youth and unconventional appearance. Remus had never made this assumption, listening to her with the same steady concentration he gave to any of the others and asking her opinion as though it mattered to him.

It was not right that he should sit there all alone.

Suddenly determined, Tonks snatched up her cloak and unlatched the door. Slipping outside the cool air ruffled her hair and blew her cloak around her knees , almost causing her to fall. Swearing softly to herself, she crossed the impeccably kept lawn and started down the steps leading to the lake, any attempt at stealth foiled by the crunch of woodchips beneath her feet and the crash of a startled deer fleeing through the undergrowth. Carelessly stepping on a dead branch that had fallen across the woodland path, she winced at the loud crack that echoed through the trees when it gave way.

"How on earth did you manage to pass stealth and tracking in your exams?" Remus's voice was amused, but he did not look around at the young woman behind him.

"Got lucky I reckon." Biting her lip, Tonks stood at the edge of the forest and wondered if she had made a mistake in coming down the lake. "I think the invigilator was still a bit deaf from the combat tests the day before."

"Ah." Shrugging the shabby cloak from his shoulders, the older man laid it out beside him. "You've come to watch the sunset?"

The sunset. For the first time Nymphadora noticed the blaze of the sun slinking behind the mountains, the riotous colours reflected in the water. Crossing the distance between them she sat down, curling her arms around her knees. For a long time they sat in silence watching the lake gleam gold in the dying light, the occasional splash and ripple of the water. The trees rustled and sighed behind them, but Remus did not speak and she could not think of anything to say.

Quiet reflection was not a natural state for Tonks. Watching Remus's breath mingle with hers in the cooling air, she wished she found it that easy to converse with him. He had not looked at her, had not really acknowledged her presence since she had sat down. Suddenly uncomfortable at how much that bothered her, she tucked her legs beneath her and searched for something to distract her attention. Picking a few half closed flowers from the grass, she brushed a finger over the silky petals.

"Daisies?"

Tonks looked up startled, the little white flowers she had plucked from the grass beside her momentarily forgotten.

"You like daisies?" Remus nodded towards blooms that had fallen into her lap. "I would have thought you'd prefer something a little brighter." Retrieving a flower from his cloak, he offered it to her with a wry smile.

"Daisies are fine." Reaching out to take it, Tonks felt his fingers brush against hers and there it was.

The spark.

For one brief second they stared at each other incredulously, before Remus snatched his hand away as though she'd burnt him. Shifting away from her a little, the lake once again seemed to become a source of endless fascination.

Tonks blinked stupidly at the daisy in her hand. _This was not part of the plan, this was not why she had come down here._ The silence between them seemed to grow heavier as each second passed, and unable to bear it any longer Tonks hunted for something to say.

"The thing about daisies is that they're everywhere, I mean even by muggle roads and poking through concrete." Realising that she was babbling she slowed down a little. "You don't notice them until you look for them and then there they are." Embarrassed, she fiddled with her robes. "I dunno, it's just nice to think that there can be beautiful things amongst the ugliness."

"Hope amongst the darkness?" Finally turning to look at her he gave a sad smile, his amber eyes gleaming with something she did not dare to identify.

"Something like that," she mumbled. "Only a bit less poetic."

"We have Dumbeldore, we have Harry." _And we have you, _he thought silently.

"I don't think Harry would like to be compared to a flower; teenagers are a bit funny like that." Smiling, Tonks looked out over the lake, her indigo hair whipping around her face and obscuring her expression. "Dumbledore might be flattered though…"

"I don't doubt it." Glancing at her surreptitiously, Remus watched her flick her hair irritably away from her eyes, the dark strands a sharp contrast to her pale skin.

"It's going to get worse isn't it," she asked quietly. "It won't be long before everything changes."

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "I don't know what to think any more."

"Are you scared?"

"Sometimes." Finally looking at her properly, he attempted a smile. " Voldemort fell from power once - all we have to do is make sure history repeats itself."

"He came back though." Dropping her eyes, Tonks realised she had squashed the flower she had been holding beyond all recognition. Picking the petals out from between her fingers, she swallowed nervously.

"Do you miss Sirius?"

"He was my brother," Remus said simply.

"Do you ever…" glancing across at him, her voice faltered. The fading light had hollowed his cheeks and shadowed his eyes, and for the first time she noticed how tired he looked.

"Sirius was never one to run from danger." Rubbing a hand through his greying hair, his voice softened as he looked at the young woman beside him. "There was nothing you or I could have done to keep him from fighting that night."

"Doesn't stop you wondering though." Reaching out her hand she let her fingers trail down his stubbled cheek and brush across his lower lip. He sighed and reached up a hand to grip her wrist, and for a moment she thought he meant to push her away. Instead, Tonks found herself pulled roughly against him, his mouth hot and urgent against hers. This was not like the fumbling kisses she had shared with boys her own age; this was hot and sweet and…_right_.

In the depths of the great lake the giant squid lifted a languid tentacle and let it drop with a noisy splash, startling them both. Grabbing his wand at the sudden sound, Remus pushed Tonks backwards with his free hand, his eyes searching their surroundings for Death Eaters.

"Don't need that chivalry rubbish." Having wriggled out of his reach, she watched as the creature disappeared beneath the water and shook her wand at him reproachfully. "I'm an Auror remember, we don't panic every time the squid makes a noise."

"Forgive me." The words were polite, but it was clear that the moment had passed and he was desperate to leave.

_Great one Nymphadora. _Watching as Lupin stood she reluctantly accepted his proffered hand and let him haul her to her feet.

"It's getting cold."

"Yeah."

For a moment their hands remained clasped and she could have sworn he was going to pull her closer.

"Best we get back." Turning back towards the school he made his way up the pathway with far more grace than she had descended it. As she watched the retreating figure Tonks resisted the urge to hex herself. Why couldn't diplomacy have been part of her training? Why did she always say exactly the wrong thing?

With a noisy splash behind her the squid surfaced once again, it's tentacles waving like a strange plant in the middle of the lake. _And you can shut up as well_ she thought viciously before heading back towards Hogwarts.

* * *

_**Storm clouds.**_

It had been a good weekend.

Remus Lupin rarely turned down an invitation to the Weasley household; after his self imposed exile it was hard to resist the pull of such warmth, such acceptance. Molly might surreptitiously reach for the scissors every time he ran his hands through his greying hair, and there were only so many times you could look at Arthur's plug collection with a suitable look of interest, but that aside the small house was the closest place to heaven he had ever encountered. It was good to feel part of a family, even if it were only for a short time.

This visit was different however, this time Tonks was sharing their hospitality. What had he thought about in his idle hours before she had entered his life? He sometimes wondered. The occasional faceless siren that used to grace his dreams faded into smoke against such unapologetic vitality.

One kiss. One kiss, and Merlin help him he would not make that mistake again. He should have known better, and she shouldn't have been there at all, but yet here he was staring out the kitchen window like a lovesick teenager. She and Ginny were supposed to be ridding the meadow behind the garden of gnomes, and by the looks of it failing miserably. For each tiny figure removed from the long grass a steady line of replacements replaced their number, occasionally shaking a fist at the interlopers. It didn't really matter; in the sunlight they looked like two wood nymphs, their laughter even drowning out the sudden cacophony of owl hoots that came from Ron's bedroom.

How many days like these were left? How long would it be before The Daily Prophet reported the endless disappearances and murders that had marked Voldemort's last ascension?

Remus watched as Tonks laughed at something Ginny had said, the warmth of her amusement lighting up her pale skin. She was closer in age to the youngest Weasley child than she was to him, he thought ruefully. She still had the fearlessness of youth, the optimism he had seen battered out of most Aurors as their duties consumed them. Bright hair flying, they ran after a particularly elusive gnome, making the pursuit more of a hopscotch game than a genuine attempt at ridding the garden of pests.

"They'll never catch anything at this rate."

Molly Weasley's disapproving voice came from the doorway behind him. Bustling into the kitchen, she muttered a swift cleaning spell at the bundle of clothes she had retrieved from Ron and Ginny's bedrooms. "Honestly sometimes I wonder which of them is the adult."

With a shake of her head she marched towards the door, brushing past Remus and reaching for the door handle.

"Don't." Putting his hand over Molly's, Remus stopped her from opening the door. "I'll go and give them a hand."

"You don't have to." Giving him a searching look, the matronly red-head turned back to the laundry. "Would you tell Ginny she's supposed to be helping Ron clean out the owl cages while you're out there?"

"Of course." Suddenly uncomfortable, Remus stepped out into the garden. The air was cooling a little, the hills in the distance shadowed beneath the gathering clouds.

"Ginny?" Crossing the lawn he smiled at the two young women. "Your mother said something about cleaning owl cages." Raising an eyebrow he watched with amusement as she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"I don't see why I have to help out, It's not my fault Ron can't keep hold of Pig for more than two minutes at a time." Flicking her hair out of her eyes, Ginny brushed the worst of the dirt off her clothing. "Good job he's a keeper rather than a seeker, even Malfoy'd beat him."

"God forbid." Opening the gate Remus let the diminutive red head pass, before closing it and wading through the long grass.

"She's a smart kid." Tonks watched the girl disappear into the house and gave a rueful smile. "Imagine growing up with Fred and George… I think I'd prefer the Dursleys."

"Probably safer" he agreed.

"Have you come to gnome hunt?" Suddenly shy, she scuffed the ground with one foot before realising how childish she must look. Gathering her wits somewhat, she gave a decent attempt at a nonchalant smile, and felt her heart sink as he turned away from her, obviously uncomfortable in her presence.

_Not fair._ Stupid man with his sad amber eyes and untidy hair. Stupid girl for thinking that one brief moment could have meant anything at all.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" The words were out of Remus's mouth before he could stop them.

"If you like." Blinking in surprise Nymphadora watched as he started down the meadow before following him, his longer legs almost making her trot to keep up.

"Thought you said a walk." Panting slightly as she caught up with him several minutes later, she glanced at Remus curiously and tugged her suddenly sweaty t-shirt away from her ribs.

"Sorry." Startled, he looked at her as though he had forgotten she was there, and slowed his pace.

"s'okay," she grinned. "Not your fault that you're lanky."

"Lanky?" He snorted in mock outrage. "I may be on the er.. Less stocky end of the physical spectrum, but I am not _lanky._"

"Ooh a bit Touchy aren't we?" Clambering over the stile at the bottom of the meadow, Tonks gave Remus a wink and wandered into the little orchard that marked the beginning of the forest. It was nice when things were like this; when she could make him laugh and watch his face light up, if only for a moment. There were not many opportunities to be alone together, but she could recite by heart every word he had said to her on those few occasions.

"Molly thinks you're too skinny." Picking an apple from a low branch she tossed it too him with a grin.

Catching it deftly he gave a brief smile. "Molly probably thinks Dudley Dursley needs feeding up."

Nymphadora giggled a little at that and watched him wander over to her. "I could feed you up," she said softly.

He flinched at her words. Rubbing his forehead tiredly, he seemed to age before her eyes.

"Look Tonks…. This isn't why I asked you down here."

"Why did you then?" She narrowed her eyes in annoyance. Why couldn't he just be honest with her? If he had cut her loose or tied her to him then it would not have been half so painful. Nobility was admirable in fairytales but not in real life; not when it was for all the wrong reasons.

"You are a lovely young woman," Remus said carefully, "and any young man would be.."

"The "it's not you it's me" speech." Cutting off his words, Tonks fought back the desire to slap him and instead grabbed his arm as he made to turn away. "Answer me honestly Remus. Do you ever think about me? Was one kiss all it meant to you?"

Mouth dry he looked at her hopelessly - how could he possibly answer that truthfully and live with himself?

"Am I not pretty enough?" she asked. "Perhaps if I looked like Fleur…" Wrinkling her nose in concentration, her dark eyes changed to azure blue, the short dark hair unfurling in a pale waterfall down her back.

"Don't be ridiculous." Remus watched the transformation aghast, "For goodness sake change back."

Tonks shook her head and the silvery tresses were replaced by the more familiar short indigo locks.

"And you a werewolf," she spat bitterly. "You don't even have the courage to face your own feelings."

"I know the difference between right and wrong." Running a hand through his greying hair, Remus looked at her in exasperation and barely controlled longing. _Why didn't she see that this was for her own good? Didn't she know that if he kissed her again he might not ever let her go?_

"Why is this wrong?"

"I'm far too old for you, I can barely support myself, I.." he never did get to finish the sentence. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Nymphadora kissed him, soft lips against his, her eyes closed in concentration. _Like falling in slow motion, _he thought dazedly. In the back of his mind he could feel his conscience watching horrified as he pushed her against the tree, one hand tangled in her hair, the other gripping her back so tightly he could feel the bark imprinting itself on his knuckles. _Not right, not right by any stretch of the imagination,_ and yet she was kissing him back fiercely, her hands fumbling at the buttons of his shirt, one leg wrapping itself around his waist.

"We can't," he gasped breathlessly, almost shoving her away in his desire to put some distance between them.

"Bloody well can." Grabbing his wrist, she glared at him defiantly. "Don't tell me you don't want this."

"Nymphadora…" He looked at her hopelessly.

"Why not?" she whispered quietly. "Why won't you even try?"

Her jaw was set determinedly, her cheeks flushed. Fierce as her eyes were, she could not stop the tears that threatened to betray how vulnerable she had become.

"Don't you want me?"

_Too young, too beautiful, too good for him._ Disentangling himself from her, Remus took one step back and then another. Turning around he headed back up the meadow without looking back, his shirt half unbuttoned and the wolf inside him howling with misery.

Dinner that evening was strained. Avoiding looking at Tonks, Remus listened to Ron and Harry discuss Quidditch without hearing a word they said, nodding occasionally when it seemed a question had been directed at him. Reluctantly drawn into a debate about muggle radiators by an overenthusiastic Arthur, he was aware of Molly's eyes upon him and attempted to be a little more animated.

"Are you all right Remus?" She asked suspiciously.

Nodding unconvincingly, he attempted a smile. "I'm fine, just a little tired." Picking up an empty jug of juice he carried it back to the kitchen before she could question him further.

Excusing himself after dinner, Remus retreated to his room with the excuse that he had business to attend to. Sitting on the bed, staring sightlessly at the parchment in his hand, he wondered if he had ever been more miserable. Tonks had kissed him, she had wanted him, and what he wouldn't have given to have apparated them both out of there and straight back to his bedroom… But there was no way that he could take advantage of her and live with himself he told himself sternly. The house quietened gradually as the family retired to bed, eventually only his breathing and the far off rumble of thunder broke the silence. Unable to sleep and slightly claustrophobic, Remus left the little room and padded down the stairs. Perhaps watching the storm roll in would take his mind off things, remind him of happier times. Smiling slightly, he remembered James dodging lightning bolts on his broomstick - an unsuccessful attempt to impress a supremely indifferent Lily Evans. Slipping into the kitchen he did not notice the hunched shape of the girl standing on the porch at first, it was only the draught caused by the slightly open door that caused him to look her way.

Remus watched the small figure for a long moment before stepping outside. Glancing around swiftly, Tonks grabbed the wand from her pocket with an economy of effort that belied her usual clumsiness, and pointed at him fiercely.

"Going to curse me?" he asked quietly. Walking over to her he left several feet between them, noting that she still had not lowered her wand.

"Auror training," she said finally. "Nothing personal." Tucking the wand away she watched him warily. "I thought you preferred sunsets to thunderstorms."

He flinched a little at her words; a sunset had brought them together, perhaps it was fitting that such gloomy weather would provide the backdrop to their parting.

"I can't do this Tonks," he said quietly. "It was never my intention to hurt you."

"Then don't." Biting her lip, she looked at him steadily. "No one chooses who they fall in love with."

Above them the first hesitant patter of rain against the tin roof was the only thing that broke the silence.

"You will always be dear to me Nymphdora," said Lupin eventually. "It would be nice if we could remain friends."

"This is such a stupid cliché," she spat. "The noble older man comes to tell the naive young girl they can't be together because, "oh , it might actually make him happy." Nice touch with the rain though, you'll make the cover of a "Romance Witch" book yet."

"You're not listening to me." Sighing in exasperation, he looked at her wearily. "It wouldn't work Nymphadora, you must know that."

Tonks stalked away from him to the far end of the porch, her hair luminous against the dark sky, her fingers curling into the overlong sleeves of her sweater.

"It's difficult to take you seriously when even you don't look as though you believe what you're saying." Stretching out a hand she let the rain splash onto her fingertips and looked towards the dark clouds huddled above the hilltops.

"There's a storm coming, and I don't just mean that one." Nodding her head towards the gathering thunderclouds she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him steadily.

"There might not be much time left for any of us."

"You should not think like that." Finally meeting her eyes he tried not to control the tremble in his voice. He had known despair before, he had known grief; but watching her slender body tremble in the gloom he felt something inside him twist and break. "There is still hope," he said softly.

She gave a tiny laugh and turned back to the desolate landscape.

"I wonder though…" her voice was little more than a whisper. Taking a deep breath she rummaged in the pocket of her jeans, dragging out a small handkerchief.

"Here." thrusting it towards him she waited until he had taken it before slipping past and disappearing back into the house. "You gave it to me once, you might as well keep it."

Flinching as the door slammed shut behind him, Remus looked at the offering for a moment before unwrapping the white linen. The little bundle was so light he almost missed the tiny flower nestled in it's folds, mangled almost beyond recognition it was nonetheless all too familiar. A daisy. The daisy he had given her by the lake, and the start of this whole sorry mess.

He stood on the porch for a long time watching the lightning flicker in the darkness, the trees bent low against the wind. Taking a perverse pleasure in the chill seeping into his bones, he waited until his shirt was drenched and his shivering had become too violent to ignore, before going back inside. Curling up on the bed and gazing sightlessly at the ceiling, he listened to the rain pounding against the window, until even that was swallowed by his exhaustion.

There was a strange stillness the next morning. Broken branches littered the tidy lawn and a dozen roof tiles pulled away by the wind lay shattered on the pathway. Padding carefully down the creaking staircase, the empty hook where Tonks's cloak had hung was almost as accusing as the look in Molly Weasley's eyes.

* * *

**_Closer._**

Strange how even somewhere as big as Hogwarts could seem claustrophobic…

Tonks shivered slightly and tucked her arms around herself, wishing she had thought to pick up her cloak. The early morning air was sharp in her lungs, the dew that had settled on the grass soaking the bottom of her jeans. Aside from the discreet scurrying of the house elves, Hogwarts was silent; it's occupants lost in a slumber that she bitterly envied. Sleep had been elusive for months, but in the last few days it had been practically nonexistent. Last night she had paced around her room until the elderly wizard depicted in the portrait over her bed had begged her to either leave or stun herself, with an obvious preference towards the latter. Slipping out of the room with a mumbled apology, she made her way down to the lake. There was something soothing about the calm water, the dark restlessness of the forest behind it. Lost in thought she settled back against a tree and watched the first pale fingers of dawn illuminate the mountains and gild the trees.

She had seen battle before; the fight at the Ministry of Magic was not something she would ever forget, and not only because Sirius had died there. Hogwarts was supposed to have been safe, Dumbledore was supposed to have been, well, immortal. A small childish part of her had been almost surprised that no tempest had arisen with the headmaster's death, no bolts of lightning raining down upon his foes. Discussing the funeral arrangements of the greatest wizard of their generation in bright sunshine seemed somehow wrong… What chance did they have when their only hope was a skinny, if courageous, teenager?

Something surfaced briefly in the lake, disturbing the mirror like stillness. Glancing over, Tonks reached for her wand before relaxing. _Probably one of the mer-people, _she thought to herself. The rippling silver water reminded her of Fleur's hair, a woman she had never particularly liked before the events in the medical wing yesterday. She felt slightly guilty at her assumption that Fleur would have broken off the engagement when Bill was disfigured. For such a vain woman the part Veela had proved to be admirably true of heart, her loyalty unwavering when it came to the man she loved. Bill had still not regained consciousness, however he was seldom alone; Molly and Fleur took turns sitting at his bedside, their uneasy truce one of the only good things to come of the battle.

Growing stiff against the rough bark, Tonks eased herself up and wandered over to the water's edge. _Loyalty is fine when the object of affection returns your love_, she thought to herself, _but when they do not it is merely a burden to both parties._

_You made your feelings plain, _she thought quietly, _he does not want you._ And who could blame him? Ignoring the dampness of the grass she knelt down on the bank and looked at the pale face reflected in the dark water with weary resignation. Drab, dull, dispirited. These days she avoided mirrors, made excuses when her friends asked her to visit. Anything was better than the polite concern, the endless questions. Reaching out she brushed her fingers through the water and watched her reflection shiver and disintegrate into a thousand ripples.

She had humiliated herself in front of people she cared about, had laid her soul bare; and for what? Remus had pushed her away once again, left the room without looking back. Inwardly she cringed at the memory. How could she look at any of the Order in the eye again after this evenings outburst? How would she ever face _him _again?

Shivering slightly in the cool breeze she let the dew seep through her clothing and restlessly ran her fingers through the grass. Picking a daisy, she toyed with the idea of playing "he loves me, he loves me not," before attempting to throw it into the lake. There was no need for such childish games - the answer to that question was already painfully clear. The little flower didn't even reach the water, instead sticking incongruously to the clay soil of the riverbank, and Tonks looked at it listlessly. Not a very good end for a poor defenceless flower - should she summon it back with her wand and try again? Or perhaps put it back where she had found it? There were sticking spells, but she wasn't quite sure if they would work on a mangled daisy if she tried to put it back on its stem. Lost in thought, she did not hear the person approaching her until he was almost upon her, and startled, she reached for her wand and scrambled to her feet.

"It's alright."

No mistaking that voice. Miserably she kept her gaze fixed on the lake and resisted the urge to turn around.

"Come to watch the sunrise?" To her disgust her voice trembled a little, and she faked a shiver to disguise it. The footsteps came closer, the reflection of Remus Lupin's thin frame looming behind her in the still water.

"I saw you from the window, I thought we should talk."

"You have made your feelings perfectly clear," she replied stiffly. The breeze flicked her hair into her eyes and she brushed it angrily away. "I don't see what else there is to discuss."

"I have nothing to offer you," he said quietly.

Tonks sighed wearily. "Have I ever asked you for anything? Please just go."

"No." The sudden weight of his cloak on her shoulders made her flinch slightly, his hands were gentle, barely brushing the exposed skin at the nape of her neck before sliding down to her shoulders. Reaching up, she curled her fingers around his hands but did not turn around. Eyes closed she felt his breath warm against her cheek, his solid bulk achingly close. Biting her lip she felt the first sting of tears and fought to blink them back before he could see her weakness. This was the moment when he would let her down gently; get up and leave her with some meaningless platitude that would be all the crueller for it's attempt at kindness.

"It will be difficult." His voice was so low that at first she thought she had misheard him.

"Difficult?" she repeated blankly.

"If we were to make this work, I mean." Pulling his hands away from hers, Remus gently turned around to face him. Tonks's bafflement was obviously reflected in her face, and letting go off her he took a step backwards. "That is, I mean if you still wanted…" He watched her with anxious eyes, mistaking her confusion for rejection. _Of course she doesn't - why would she? _Turning away he made to leave before he could embarrass himself further.

"yes!" She blurted the word out without thinking. "I mean, yes please. If that's ok." Never particularly good at hiding her emotions, she promptly burst into tears.

Remus looked at her horrified for a moment before realising she was also smiling. Rubbing away her tears with his sleeve, he smoothed the dark circles under her eyes with his thumbs.

"Are you sure?"

Nodding mutely she grabbed his collar and tugged his head down towards her. The kiss was hesitant and gentle, salty with the residue of the tears that were still smeared across her cheeks.

"What changed your mind?" Releasing him, she frowned with a sudden realisation. "Molly didn't make you…"

"Molly, Minerva, Fleur, Harry.." Frowning he pretended to check off each name on some mental list. "Oh, and Fred and George. Probably the only time I'll ever take advice from those two."

"Then they made you come down here." Tonks felt her happiness evaporate. "I don't want you to be obligated, it's not like.."

"I wish you'd shut up for once Nymphadora." Covering her mouth with his, he kissed her with such passion she had to grab hold of his shoulder to stop her knees from buckling. Finally breaking away he brushed her cheek reverently. "I've been an idiot love, forgive me."

"'spect I could." Smiling with a little of her customary spirit, she took his hand and pulled him back towards Hogwarts. "You'll have to be nice to me though."

"I can do nice." With a grin he grabbed her around the waist and gently bit her neck. "Don't forget there's still rather a lot of wolf in me though."

"As if I could forget."

Looking back towards the lake she saw the water shudder as the squid surfaced. Smiling as a long dark tentacle emerged from the water, she briefly wondered if the squid understood the "thumbs up" sign, before deciding it didn't really matter and gave it one of her own. Reaching out she grabbed Remus's hand and giggled as he pulled her into another swift embrace. Hope amongst the darkness he had said to her once. Well darkness they had in abundance, hope was in short supply. This was one thing that Voldemort and his Death Eaters could not destroy. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she returned his kiss with equal enthusiasm and let him lead her back to his room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Epilogue.**

**Disclaimer : Nothing belongs to me. Some spoilers for The Deathly Hallows.**

Once a year, since before he can remember, Teddy Lupin makes the same journey. When he was little he rode upon the shoulders of "uncle" Harry or Ron, when he was older traversed the low hill with his hand in his grandmother's, but always the offering he carried was the same.

A handful of daisies picked from the verge at the bottom of the cemetery. Slightly battered flowers that seemed a little paltry next to the wreaths of everlasting roses and lilies that had been left as tributes for those who had fallen in the last battle against Voldemort, but an offering nonetheless. A private joke that was the only one that he had an opportunity to share with his parents.

He can't remember them, although when he was younger he tried to dredge up any memory true or false that could provide a clue as to what they had been like. In photographs his mum is always smiling, giggling, eyes bright as she poses for the camera. She would have hugged him a lot, Teddy thinks. She would have been the coolest mum standing on platform nine and three quarters with her bright hair and rock band t-shirts. Plus she had been an auror, and aurors were the best - everyone knew that, especially since Harry Potter joined them.

And then there is his dad. At first he had looked at the photos of him and his mum together and was confused. They looked so different - different ages, different ways of dressing ; his dad looked tired even when he was smiling, while his mum never looked anything but thrilled to be alive. It took long hours of studying their photos when he was lonely or unhappy to work it out. They were like the jigsaw pieces that Grandma Andromeda had in her attic. Grandad Ted, his namesake, had liked them and he had played with the funny nonmagical games a couple of times. Sometimes bits that looked completely different fitted together and once they were then you couldn't imagine how you could have missed seeing it before. Fleur and Bill shouldn't be together either - she's gorgeous and he looks like he lost a fight with a muggle lawnmower, but they fit together too, and now they are Bill-and-Fleur, just as his parents must once have been Remus-and-Tonks.

"Aunt" Hermione says that he has his dad's eyes - when he's not playing around that is. Being a metamorphagus certainly has its benefits, especially now he is older. The whole "you're not my type" line certainly doesn't cause him any worries when chatting up the opposite sex, much to James and Albus' amusement. _But wait until they're older_, he thinks sometimes. They'll be begging him for tips then. Being yourself is all well and good, but it's much more fun to be anything you choose to be, although Teddy is careful not to take it too far: he knows who he is and despite trying out a rainbow of hair colours he generally sticks to what nature gave him. Brown hair, brown eyes and a nose that is still wonky from being hit by a rogue bludger when he was ten years old.

Despite unspoken worries that he had nonetheless picked up upon, none of his father's werewolf traits had made themselves known. Teddy isn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. Werewolf legislation has come a long way since the bigoted views of his father's time, but while he admires the rather heroic Bill Weasley, he's not sure that he wants the once a month mood swings that come with it, and since Bill isn't even a full werewolf it's probably best that he himself has never demonstrated any lupine characteristics. Nonetheless it would have been a link to his father, despite the fact that Remus Lupin was not at all comfortable with his condition from what others have told him.

Trying not to bruise the flowers, Teddy carefully split in half the handful of daisies that he carried up to his parents' graves. There were daisies in the vase next to his mothers bed in the photos that showed him as a newborn baby, his dad's face almost as pink with pride as his mother's hair. There was a daisy chain sliding over his mum's right eye as she giggled and stuck her tongue out in the picture on his wall, and so, Teddy has decided, daisies would be his token. His signature so that his parents knew that he had been thinking of them and could look down and know that he had said hello. With a whispered "goodbye", he turned and walked down the cemetery path, the breeze lifting his indigo hair, his hands jammed in his jacket pockets. At the bottom of the hill Andromeda waited patiently, and giving her a smile he took her hand as they prepared to apparate side by side. He might be orphaned but he was not alone, and while his parents might lie side by side in the cemetery, a part of them lived on, and he would do his best to honour them.

**A/N I wrote "Daisies" ages ago - infact Remus and Tonks was the first fanfic pairing that I ever wrote, so this is my goodbye to that pairing. I wish it could have been a "happy ever after," but I'm not going to go against canon. Feedback is appreciated :)**


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